Chath Puja - Day one

It was a very busy day in office. We had some visitors and I was tied up with them for most of the day in whole day meetings / reviews. In the evening I met with an old ex –colleague. We worked on some common projects around 4 years back for a very short time together, however after that he moved roles and eventually left the company for other opportunities. Our interaction back then was for a very brief period, but we struck good partnership in a short time. He was in town and I met him with another colleague of mine to catch up. He is doing very good in his own ways and it was nice to see him and meet him after a long time – must say, he hasn't changed much though.

Today is also the “kharna” puja day back home. Mom had fast whole day and after the sunset she offered “kharna” puja to the GOD. Her ~2 days fasting has started and will not end on Sunday morning after the morning sun’s puja. She was in very good mood today and gave me lot of blessing over phone. These are the days, wherever I am in the world, I miss home badly. Whole evening, I was waiting for her phone call and was so anxious to hear about her well being and completion of the puja ceremony without any incidents. Its just so hard to stay away from her in this week – I can’t describe in words. And still, over last 18-20 years since I left living with my parents and moved to hostel life, I have missed this puja many a times. During my engineering college or MBA days, I used to tell myself that I am investing in my future and hence missing the Chath puja. But since, I started working and later moved out of India, I have missed attending the puja more often. This time around however Aryan was there with his grandmother and she was ecstatic about him and how he helped her in puja preparations today. It was good to hear about him and perhaps he was representing me as he is destined for rest of life.

However, somewhere deep in my heart I am feeling very sad on missing the puja myself again this year – just one of those days on calendar, when you don’t want to be anywhere else but home. No place and no cause can justify my absence from home today. All the practical thoughts & reasoning around career, family, future, growth, wealth etc seems meaningless today – is this all worth?

I would go to sleep with a very heavy heart today and as always, I would never be able to find an answer to it.